She showed up.
After Chantelle’s experience she admitted that she almost didn’t show up. She was so nervous, so SURE that she wouldn’t like the photographs and would possibly be wasting my time, that she almost turned around, but she didn’t and that made all the difference. Her nerves were evident over calls and emails but I persisted in explaining to her that I was ready and willing and HONORED to be able to photograph her.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this. I think nerves before the shoot are totally normal but what makes this so different is that Chantelle’s entire life changed after this shoot and I will be forever grateful that she came.
Oddly enough we had met back at a bridal show and we gravitated towards each other immediately. The ironic thing was that now as she was coming to me, it was as a single woman and an entirely different type of person than the one I met back then.
Her initial email to me about booking a session said this: “Recently single after 10 years, trying to find myself and ways to love my body after too long of feeling undesirable from someone who should have wanted me.”
So here’s an honest question- was I nervous? Here I am hearing about a woman who wants to come in but has many apprehensions, isn’t quite sure this is for her and isn’t sure there will even be a single photograph she will like at the end. My authentic answer: ABSOFUCKINGLUTLEY NOT. Here is my secret- new clients who tell me they hate photos of themselves or they aren’t photogenic are my FAVORITE clients because I know I’m about to rock their world through a boudoir shoot and Chantelle would be no different.
The day of her shoot you could have told me that this woman had modeled either in a previous life or this one! This girl brought the looks, the laughter, the authentic and amazing energy. I remember thinking to myself after our first ten photos- this is going to be easy and man was it. She followed my direction but always added her own little pizzazz and I was HERE FOR IT!
When Chantelle and I sat down to look at her photos the same day of her boudoir shoot I watched the woman I just captured in the photographs come to life. Photograph after photograph she kept seeing HER. She kept seeing the woman she knew was there but was having a hard time discovering internally. In her own words, ”When I looked at those pictures I saw and felt the person my friends always told me I was and learned that how I felt about me myself wasn’t valid at all.”
2 years later, Chantelle is about to embark on her next experience and we have talked in depth about what this time in her life is all about- what is it she wants to see now, what mantra does she need to create and replay in her mind so that she can show up as the best version of herself. You know what’s great about that last sentence? I don’t have to worry about her showing up :)
In Chantelle’s words:
“I was lucky enough to be chosen for one of Mary Beth’s campaigns where she gifted me a boudoir photo session and credit towards my photos after. I wasn’t sure I would use the photo credit because for my whole life I’ve never loved my body. In fact I’ve been quite vicious in the words I’ve used to describe myself.
I chose to enter the contest because last year was bar none, the worst year of my life and I needed to find myself. I figured things couldn’t get any worse by trying the photo session. I put together “outfits” from mostly things I had around in my costumes (I would have never dared wear them in any other setting, except as a costume). They were not things I felt confident in, just things I figured would be appropriate and I might not hate.
My anxiety before the session was difficult to manage because of all of this. I second guessed every decision of clothes, makeup, hair, nails all of it. Feminine and girly are not words I would use to describe myself and I constantly feel like a failure at all of these things. My friends all told me before hand and I mimicked during the shoot “fake it til you make it” & “you’ll be fine”. I wanted it to be better than fine, but I didn’t have high hopes.
I feel like I have to set all of this up so when I say, this photo shoot with Mary Beth saved me, it sounds as big as it is. I realized on my way home after the shoot that it wasn’t fake, not a moment of it. Yes I have parts of my body I dislike and that I was self conscious about, but the confidence I showed during the shoot and that she expertly captured in photo after photo, was real. Not just real, but something I’ve always had inside me that I rarely acknowledge or let out anymore. For more than 20 years that part of me has been broken and hopeless, with a big part of me telling myself that I haven’t deserved to feel sexy or confident, that I shouldn’t like my body. And I wish I could have purchased every picture that was taken.
In less than 4 hours it doesn’t just feel like I’ve chipped away at that belief I had built up, its been broken. I’ve been wrong for so long and I couldn’t be more thankful to Mary Beth for offering the opportunity for this and for the professionalism and level of comfort she creates. I’m sorry to say her compliments during and after the shoot fell on deaf ears, but I’m listening now I promise!
She literally helped saved my heart, mind and spirit and I’ll never be able to articulate fully my appreciation for what she did. I can definitely wait until my next boudoir session with her, simply because I want to work on the parts of my body I want to change and am suddenly very motivated to do so. I am however, incredibly excited to show the woman I will become because of all of this and to see how much I can growth there will be in the next session!”
Chantelle is now a Capture Ambassador
As an ambassador she is spreading all the Capture goodness across the universe so we can reach as many people as possible to tell them: they are seen, they are heard, they are loved.
More from Chantelle 2 years after:
“2 years ago today I found a part of myself I think I never had, or didn’t know I had. I was at an all time low in my life and had no idea how to drag myself out of it. The hour I spent with Mary Beth was anxiety filled, wonderful, scary, empowering, life changing, earth shattering… you get the point I think. The day before and morning of I nearly cancelled many times over and I’m so glad I didn’t. Since returning to my pre-COVID job my friends have told me over and over how happy I seem and A LOT of the credit goes to this experience. In 2 weeks I’ll have my third photo experience with the Capture Photography queen herself and I cannot tell you how excited I am to celebrate this anniversary with her doing a photo experience about finding my own sense of empowerment and strength. If you’re waiting around for the “right time” to do something like this for yourself, you’re cheating yourself out of a lot of wonderful experiences and no one deserves that. Stop waiting around for the right time and make it the right time right now.”